


Three Times is Not the Charm When Dealing with Natasha Romanoff

by Illusinia



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, F/M, Pepper cockblocks, he can't catch a break, no really, poor ward just can't catch a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-13
Updated: 2013-11-13
Packaged: 2018-01-01 09:06:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illusinia/pseuds/Illusinia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grant Ward just can’t catch a break where his crush, Natasha Romanoff is concerned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Times is Not the Charm When Dealing with Natasha Romanoff

**Author's Note:**

> I completely blame my friends for this story. Seriously, I entirely blame captainlittelcat and @the-blackwidow-natasha for this one. They are to blame along with our friend who plays Grant Ward in rp. Written in about twenty minutes.

Grant just managed to not sigh as he glanced at his watch, then bounced his leg slightly nervously. Okay, yes, he was a smooth working SHIELD agent, but so was his target. She's probably smoother than he is. Scratch that, he knows she's smoother. She's the freaking smoothest agent in SHIELD. Incredibly deadly, fearless, strong, perfect. She's just perfect and that's why he's waiting in the hallway outside the woman's locker room like a damn teenager. His palms are even sweating! Seriously, what's he thinking? She's so far out of his league.... _Oh snap out of it! I'm a damn SHIELD agent. I've been trained for this. Been trained for worse. Just take a deep breath, man up, grow a pair, and say it as soon as she comes out-_

 

At that moment the door swung open, and smacked Grant right in the face. He cursed as the door struck him, making the person coming out bulk. No, persons. Pepper Potts blinked worriedly at him as he tried to clear his eyes and rubbed his nose. A nose he's pretty sure is broken. Great.

 

“Are you alright?” asked Pepper worriedly, kneeling down in front of Grant. Her hair is still damp, and she looks like she just ran a mile. Vaguely, he recalled hearing rumors that she was getting some kind of hand to hand training from Coulson. Everyone knew they were close, probably dating. Or at least Coulson had a crush on her.

 

Behind Pepper, Natasha Romanoff, the whole reason for Grant's presence here, steps into view. She cocks an eyebrow at him, giving him a look of 'what happened?' but her look is indifferent. Careless. It makes Grant want to blush and kiss her all at the same time. Seriously, she's perfect.

 

“I'm fine,” assured Grant, his face turning redder as he scrambles to his feet. “Just a little accident.”

 

Pepper blinks at him from the ground, looking startled as he pinches his nose and practically bolts to the men's locker room. God, what an idiot he must have looked like. Seriously, what kind of idiot lets himself get struck in the face with a door while lurking outside the woman's locker room like a stalker? An idiot like him, that's what kind.

 

Standing in front of the mirror, he examines his swollen and bleeding nose, mentally cursing. Well, that wasn't how he wanted things to go. Ugh, he needed a better plan. One that wouldn't have him lurking around like some stalker. Wiggling his nose, he gave up and headed for medical. Hopefully, they could do something about his nose. In the mean time, he needed a new plan.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Grant checked the hallway, weary of any doors that could open and hit him. Just the thought made him want to scratch at the bandage medical had secured to hold his broken nose into place. Thankfully, it's a minor break, so they said it'll heal fine. The hallway he's currently lurking through is one of the ones in the R&D division of SHIELD, near the weapons development area. He'd over-heard some of the lab rats saying she had an appointment with her today to upgrade some of her weapons. For the last few days, he'd been trying to find a chance to talk with her alone but one of the other Avengers had always been around. This time though, well, he'd checked their locations. Barton's at the range, Rogers is off base, Stark and Banner aren't around, Coulson is in a meeting, and Thor is who knows where; it's not on the base and that's all he cares about. No one to interrupt them. It's the perfect opportunity to make his move.

 

Leaning beside the (sliding) door into the lab, Grant waits as patiently as he can for Natasha to finish with the rundown for her weapons. It only takes ten minutes, but he feels like hours have passed by the time she steps out of the lab. He's ready as soon as she does though, nearly jumping into a fully standing position. She blinks as he moves, raising an eyebrow at him silently.

 

“Hey Agent Romanoff,” greeted Grant, rolling his shoulders back and straightening properly. “Fancy meeting you here.”

 

“Indeed,” stated Natasha as she started down the hallway, fiddling with what he's guessing is a new version of her widow's bite bracelet. “What are you doing down here, Agent Ward?”

 

“I was checking in on a few changes being made to my arsenal,” stated Grant, trying to act as casually as he can. “New guns, smaller bugs, the usual list. How about you?”

 

Natasha glanced at him, face blank as she held up her wrist. “Upgraded widows bite, though I suppose you already knew that.”

 

Grant kept his wince off his face, praying it's nothing more than luck on her part that let her make that guess. “No, I didn't. That's cool. Increased charge?”

 

“And range,” confirmed Natasha, the smirk at the corner of her lips amused. That can't be good.

 

This isn't going how he'd been hoping it would. Not at all. Maybe Coulson is right about his people skills. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he tried to get the conversation back on track. “So, um, hey, work day's almost over. You busy tonight?”

 

“Not really,” stated Natasha with a shrug. “I'd been planning to go home, make dinner, maybe see if a friend could come by for drinks tonight or if she needs to work.”

 

“Oh, well, we could, you know, go-” He doesn't get the chance to finish his sentence just as an explosion from a near by lab suddenly shatters the glass beside his head and throws him across the hall. Pinkish purple goop nearly covers his body, sticky and unpleasant. In front of his swimming vision, he watches Pepper carefully step out of the broken window and hurry over to where he is on the ground. “Agent Ward! Are you hurt? Oh god, I'm so sorry. Tony had me come down here to retrieve one of his armor pieces he'd left with some of the lab technicians because there was alien slime on it they needed to analyze and when I picked it up, it just went off!”

 

“Agent Ward, can you hear me?” asked Natasha, kneeling on his other side and looking at him in concern. “Don't move, medical will be here in a minute.”

 

“No,” groaned Ward, blinking as he tried to stay focused. “Again? Really?”

 

Before Natasha or Pepper could ask what he meant though, a team from Medical was shooing both women away and loading him onto a stretcher. Great, just great. Another chance lost to freaking Pepper Potts. God his luck sucked. If he didn't know better, he'd almost think she was sabotaging him. But that was just paranoid, even for him.

 

As medical began to shout orders while wheeling him out of the labs, he mentally began making a third plan. One that is completely fool-proof.

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

It turned out the pink goo was some kind of putty that the labs had been working on as a weaponized restraint system. Sadly, it was so sticky that in order to clean it off his skin, Medical was forced to shave every ounce of exposed skin Grant had. Which meant by the time they released him he was sporting a head as cleanly shaven as Fury's. So, after five days of hiding out, his hair was at least back to a military style buzz and he finally felt like he could at least risk coming out of his quarters during the busier times.

 

And now he was a determined man on a mission. No more of this 'accidental meeting stuff'. Clearly that didn't work and he wasn't going to even bother trying anymore. He was going straight to Natasha's office and asking her out. No beating around the bush, no subtle hints. He couldn't do it.

 

Plus he wasn't going to risk getting cock-blocked by Potts again.

 

Reaching Natasha's office, he paused outside to take a deep breath and consider what he wanted to say. He could improvise but with this he'd rather not risk it. Deciding quickly, he took a deep breath, lay his hand silently on the door knob to the closed office door and threw it open. Without a pause he strode inside, keeping his courage around him as he began speaking. “Agent Romanoff, I want to have dinner with you, tonig- oh god.”

 

Natasha was in her office, as he'd already known. What he wasn't expecting was for her to have a visitor. Or for her to be naked on the couch in her office with that visitor in the middle of some very adult activities.

 

Pepper and Natasha both looked up at him from where they were sprawled across the couch, tangled together and clearly very busy with one another. A heavy blush covered Pepper's cheeks almost immediately and the glare Natasha was sending him clearly said that he was probably going to die in the next few seconds unless he explained himself. In retrospect, knocking might have been a good idea.

 

Neither of them bothered to cover themselves as Grant found himself incapable of speaking. He tried, several times even. But all he could manage was a few choked sounds as his eyes just wondered over both women. This should be soul crushing and as soon as his mind came online it probably would be, but all he could think right now was.... “Any chance of a threesome?”

 

If possible, Natasha's glare became more pronounced and deadly as the blush on Pepper's cheeks became darker. _Oh shit. I just said that out loud. Shit. Shit. Shit._

 

“Uh, I mean, uh,” tried Grant, horrified that the only cohesive thing he managed to say happened to probably sign his death certificate. Instead, he started gesturing wildly towards the door with his hands while backing up and managing to just trip over his feet. “So, um, going. I'm going to. Just, um, sorry!”

 

He bolted out of the room before he could put his foot further down his throat, slamming the door shut behind him. His face was read and he could feel the rush of blood away from his brain to other places. Oh god, this was bad. He needed to hide. Fast. Even as he took off towards Coulson's office, he tried to find an excuse for why he needed to go on a highly classified mission to some remote and preferably icy country no one would even think to look for him in. Ever.

 

\--------------------------

 

“Well, I wasn't expecting that,” remarked Pepper with a huff, looking back up at Natasha. “You were right though, he does have a crush on you.”

 

“Did,” corrected Natasha, kissing her girlfriend slowly. “I rather loved your methods of deterring him.”

 

“Hmm,” hummed Pepper, shifting beneath Natasha's hands. “But yours worked the best.”

 

A soft laugh escaped Natasha, her hands trailing over skin she knew too well. “Thank you for agreeing.”

 

“Yes, because office sex with you is such a chore,” countered Pepper, laughing softly. “Now why don't you lock the door and we can finish what we were doing before Agent Ward decided that it wasn't necessary to knock.”

 

“Gladly,” murmured Natasha, climbing off the couch. She could feel Pepper watching her as she headed to lock the door. “Wouldn't want anyone else to walk in on us, after all. Not after that lovely warning from Agent Coulson.”

 

Pepper snorted, shaking her head. “Please, I've walked in on Phil and Clint before. He can't talk.”

 

“Really?” asked Natasha curiously, coming back over and climbing back on the couch to kiss Pepper slowly. “What happened?”

 

“Clint offered to share,” replied Pepper, smirking softly. “Phil was embarrassed. I have photos.”

 

“I'm split between asking to see and wondering if I really want to see Coulson naked,” murmured Natasha, trailing her kisses along Pepper's throat.

 

“He's more impressive than you'd think,” admitted Pepper, drawing Natasha back up for a kiss. “But I prefer you. Now, I think we need focus on what we were doing before. Phil has no place in our sex life.”

 

“No, he doesn't,” agreed Natasha, tightening her arms around Pepper's waist. “You're mine and mine alone.”

 


End file.
